It rarely looks like misuse when you’re the one in charge
There’s a line I’ve always liked:
The people you misuse on the way up are the same ones you might meet on the way down.
It’s a little blunt.
A little uncomfortable.
And completely true.
I’ve been around long enough to watch how people behave when things start going their way.
Not in theory. In real rooms. Over real years.
And here’s what I’ve noticed:
Most people don’t think they’re “misusing” anyone.
They’re just moving fast.
Making decisions.
Protecting their position.
Surrounding themselves with people who make things easier.
It doesn’t look like bad behavior.
It looks like leadership.
Until it doesn’t.
Because over time, something shifts.
The circle gets tighter.
The voices get fewer.
And the people who don’t fall in line?
They quietly disappear.
Not because they stopped showing up.
Not because they stopped contributing.
They just… became inconvenient.
And here’s the part that’s easy to miss:
The people who get pushed out aren’t usually the weakest ones.
They’re often the ones who ask better questions.
The ones who don’t automatically agree.
The ones who care enough to say something when something feels off.
I’ve seen organizations lose their strongest voices this way—and not even realize what they’ve traded away.
There’s another pattern that shows up alongside this.
Credit starts to shift.
Ideas get repeated a little louder and suddenly belong to someone else.
Wins get absorbed upward.
The people who actually did the work become footnotes, if they’re mentioned at all.
Again, nothing dramatic.
Just small appropriations, over time.
Until the story no longer matches the truth.
So let me ask the uncomfortable question:
If things are going well for you right now—
who’s still in your circle that doesn’t have to agree with you?
And more importantly:
How do you treat them?
Because this isn’t about being nice.
It’s about being aware.
It’s about noticing the moments when you dismiss instead of listen.
When you take the credit instead of share it.
When you choose agreement over honesty.
None of those feel like a big deal in the moment.
But over time, they add up.
I’ve always believed in a simple approach:
Take the blame.
Give the credit.
It’s not complicated.
And it’s not always convenient.
But it works.
Call it karma or call it consequences.
Regardless, how you treat people on the way up doesn’t go unnoticed.
It shows up in who sticks with you.
In who speaks honestly to you.
In who quietly checks out.
And by the time you’re wondering where everyone went,
it’s already too late to ask.
