Have you ever thought about the people who populate your life?
I’m talking about ALL the people, those you’ve known from your earliest memories, to your most recently-created friendships.
I was thinking the other day how some people we get to “keep” throughout our lives, and others we only get to “borrow.”
While family members are some of those whose relationships will often last a lifetime, I’m thinking more about friends and acquaintances.
Are you lucky enough to still be close with your first childhood friends? Have you created bonds with others as you have matured? How long do those relationships last? And what is a reasonable expectation?
In my experience, there are two kinds of friends/relationships in this context: those you get to “keep” and those you only get to “borrow.”
What causes a person to fall into one or the other category?
Often, it feels like timing plays an important role. There is some convergence between your life and that of another person that throws you together. There is chemistry, or symbiosis, or like-mindedness, or simple proximity. You hit it off, create a friendship that is strong, interesting and mutually enjoyable. And then something happens. Maybe that person moves away, or takes a new job, or begins another relationship that takes the place of your relationship, or there is a falling out, or perhaps something as simple and meek as drifting apart.
This, then, is one of those people you only get to “borrow.” That doesn’t mean the friendship was less important, or less meaningful than “keeper” relationships; it simply means that the attachment ran its natural course. You both still gained psychic value from the experience. In my view, these good memories from “borrowed” friends should be “banked” for the future, when you can look back at your leisure, and enjoy those times once again.
Listen to The Allman Brothers Band singing about those Come and Go Blues…